Making decisions has often played a crucial role in my business. Whether it be making a design element decision or a specific brand collaboration to connect with our audience. I’ve always enjoyed making all the quick turnaround decisions. It’s often what I feel I excel at! Yet, nothing has challenged my decisiveness more than taking on a home renovation.
Over the last couple of months, I’ve had to make decisions from the moment construction starts (around at 6:00 A.M.) to the moment I go to sleep. At first, I loved it. Now, as we head into the fourth month of renovation, I’ve started to see my patience slipping. I find myself asking others for opinions while constantly second-guessing my gut instincts. In fact, by the end of last week, I was physically exhausted, mentally unmotivated to make any decision, and found myself putting off emails. I was too worn out to even publish a new blog post – which is so unlike me!
Over the weekend, I allowed for some downtime from decision making to reconnect with myself. I gave myself the space to sort out questions like: why it became so hard for me to pull the trigger on certain purchases? And why I have stalled on projects? After thinking it through, I realized the renovation experience has taken a hit on my self-confidence. Instead of listening to myself, I started to second guess my decisions and go off the opinions of others. As our countdown to completion got delayed, I started to feel guilty for letting people down.
They say there’s an art of happiness and an art of war – I’d like to think the art of making a decision is being confident in your choice.
According to Matt, I’ve been known to be a little blunt when people share their thoughts on design concepts with me. When we started the renovating process, I would often respond to suggestions with a hard “no.” Sounds rude – I know – but it’s certainly not my intention. Instead, it was my reflex response to staying true to my gut and not letting opinions sway me following through. As we continue the renovation, I’ve become compassionate of those who are only trying to help by absorbing their feedback – but the process has fueled my exhaustion, anger and frustration with renovating.
Often, I find myself taking on the energy of those around me. As I’ve listened to suggestions from each construction worker and family member that has through the door, I’ve randomly organized to-do lists in my head on how I was sabotaging things by the ‘should have’ or ‘could have.’
I run my blog with a very small team, all of whom are very respectful of the decisions I make and the goals we have set; yet renovating a house is a big team project. In my experience, a lot of people feel they have to give their opinions; leaving me to justify my decisions to a room of people who don’t necessarily trust my decision.
This learning curve has taught me to be a more decisive person. I’ve learned it’s okay to protect myself. As long as it’s coming from a place of good intent – it’s okay to say ‘no.’ Finally, it’s okay to accept that sometimes being the boss – or ‘little contractor girl’ as they call me – means putting your foot down. Recently I was told I was wrong about when painting should be done (in way harsher words than those might I add.) Instead of fighting for what I knew was right, I listened to that unwanted opinion.
Flash forward to this week – we hired a team of painters to get the job done. Turns out, I was right and we had missed our opportunity to do it ourselves. So, the art of making a decision is being confident in your choices, putting your blinders on, and focusing on your gut instinct. Fight for what you know is right; even if other people pressure you to feel otherwise.
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