On average, I like to steer away from posts that could come off as complaining or ranting about my job or the blogging industry; because when push comes to shove I’m obsessed with this industry and my job. Not to mention I am beyond grateful to have readers like yourself, actually visiting my site and caring enough to read up on what’s going on, in my life and New England. With all that being said, this is a job and like any job, there is pressure, stress, and fear of failing; and I felt like it was about time to have another letter from the editor post, and talk about dealing with the pressure that comes with content creating.
Let me paint the picture for you all, the other day Matt and I drove to this pumpkin patch in Massachusetts to check out some antique stores and shoot a few looks. I was incredibly sick this day and running on limited sleep, basically, I wasn’t a happy camper, to begin with. Then on the drive up to MA, our plans quickly changed, and the pressure of having to make it back home to CT from MA was added to our plate. My dad, originally planned to go to MA and the Patriots game with us, caught my cold and could no longer attend. All of this meant, we now had to drive down to Connecticut to pick up a friend, and turn around to then drive all the way back up to MA, for the Patriots Game at Foxborough.
That’s one heck of a day, not to mention, I originally had not planned on going to the game due to a fever, but with a few puppy-dog eyes from Matt, found myself overextending my obligations and shooting looks in a pumpkin patch, whilst sipping Gatorade to keep myself from getting sick.
All and all, pretty Instagram worthy…am I right?
Anyway, with Matt’s mind on getting to the Patriots game, and my mind on trying not to sneeze during rapid fire shots, neither Matt nor I were in any mood to create content; and yet here we were clicking pictures away and bickering between shots in a pumpkin patch. I mean, the pumpkin patch was perfect but the pressure of creating content, with a splash of game day anxiety and a wicked cold was really getting to the both of us. Quickly Matt was appeasing my creative direction, whilst ignoring my feedback and missing a few crucial shots I had pitched his way.
Fast forward to us driving home, and me frantically scrolling through the images on the camera, I instantly became disappointed, anxious and actually angry. Why had Matt missed the shots I asked him to get, why am I breaking my back to get the perfect location, outfit, and lighting for a moment he captured incorrectly. Most importantly thought WHY does no one understand the work, pressure, and fear I feel when a photo shoot goes wrong. All of these emotions just hit me like a ton of bricks, so I decided to take to IG stories and ask you all if anyone felt the same way.
Often, I would admire other content creators’ work and how much fun they appear to have while shooting, which is ironic because for me shooting pictures is one of the things I’d delegate out first…if I could. I often felt like maybe I was THE ONLY content creator to not enjoy the actual day of content creating. I mean, I love branding the photos with editing, implementing business strategies and creating content that shares the essence of New England; but I by no means signed up for this job to be a model or fashion icon, so spending hours shooting pictures of myself can feel more like a chore than anything else. Especially since I’m not a huge fan of being the center of attention.
All and all, I was frustrated with myself, so I turned to you guys and asked if anyone else had a love-hate relationship with shooting content, and was instantly overwhelmed with DMs.
So many of you reached out to tell me, your own personal content creation anxieties, pressures and struggles. Whether it was ending a photo shoot fighting with a significant other or changing your blog’s theme to solely food content, to avoid being in shots altogether; it quickly became apparent to me that we all feel the same pressure that comes with creating content.
For me, these pictures didn’t feel, ‘special or innovative’ and the pressure to perform felt unbearably real. Yet for me, these images while not spectacular did feel organic. This is an outfit I would wear, doing an activity I would do, I mean who doesn’t love pumpkin picking. Thoughts like, ‘maybe I should have brought some props or fixed my lip color to get more engagement’, ran through my mind, but in my very sick and rushed state this is what I created, so why can’t that be enough?
All and all, I’m working on finding pride instead of pressure in each piece I publish. & I hope this blog post makes you realize it’s okay to feel not good enough, but it’s never okay to let that feeling stop you from getting back out there and creating!
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