Don’t Overthink Dating

September 29th, 2017
Location  •   Dallas, TX

Don't Overthink Dating | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey YandowOkay, so every week I check my google analytics to see what posts you guys are currently loving on the blog and every week I see this post from 2014 in the top ten. It was probably one of my first ever blog posts, and I almost regret linking it as the images are eh, the poses are horrid and my grammar is less than up to par, but everyone has to start somewhere right.

Anyway, I felt it was time to update this post almost four years later. After re-reading the 2014 post, I realize not much has changed, I’m still horrible at picking up Matt’s calls and my friends are still begging me to write more relationship posts, so really we’ve come full circle here.

The only difference is that now Matt and I are another three years deeper into our relationship, we now live together, and social media has become a constant in everyone’s life; which has made this post even more essential to write.Don't Overthink Dating | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow

Don't Overthink Dating | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
Don't Overthink Dating | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow

I still stand by the practice of calling over texting, because let’s face it, text messages are more calculated. I don’t mean that in a bad way, I’m just saying phone calls are good for getting to know each other, where text messages are more edited. Does that make sense? Think of it like snapchat vs Instagram; where Snapchat is like calling more raw, whereas Instagram is more filtered like texts.

Anyway, it’s three years later so I have bigger fish to fry than the importance of calling over texting. Today overthinking dating or even overthinking your OWN RELATIONSHIP has become even easier with social media.

From #couplegoals on Instagram to the easy swiping right on Tinder; dating in 2017 is rough and SO easy to overthink.

For instance, how many #couplegoals do we see on Instagram, I’ll be honest and say I follow at least five accounts just because I like their couple photo shoots, and as a blogger I know all the work that goes into planning such a shoot but as an individual I can see how these shoots can make you think twice about your own relationship.

I find more and more people overthinking their relationship because they are comparing it to others! & by doing that you are basically setting yourself up to fail.Don't Overthink Dating | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow

Don't Overthink Dating | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
Don't Overthink Dating | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow

Whether you’re stalking the guy you’re currently crushing on ex-girlfriend or annoyed with your boyfriend over his lack of Instagram worthy romantic jesters.

Overthinking your dating life due to social media is not a good practice.

My favorite part of my job is creating beautiful images for you guys. Whether that means getting a little too close to the edge at The Cliffs of Moher or spending an hour making 24 perfectly circle pancakes for this shoot, I want you guys to find inspiration in each image and for me, that means going the extra length.

Whether our posts inspire you to whip out a bowl and make pancakes, travel to Ireland or embrace a New England lifestyle of your own; we spend time planning and creating these moments to share.

& honestly, I love sharing photos of Matt and I, on Instagram and my blog, because heck, I love sharing him with you all but that doesn’t mean we are perfect.

We fight over silly things all the time, we draw straws over who’s going to clean the kitchen sink (my least favorite chore) and we are constantly bickering over which cereal to buy each week at Walmart. I like Cocoa Pebbles and Matt likes Captain Crunch, this week I won by the looks of the photos, so progress.

Overall, we have our ups and downs, and I hate to see people overthinking their OWN relationships because they are comparing it to others on social media. Whether it be a blogger, friend or celebrity; don’t focus on how perfect they are as a couple and how you’d like to emulate them, but rather celebrate your own relationship.Don't Overthink Dating | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow

Don't Overthink Dating | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow
Don't Overthink Dating | The Coastal Confidence by Aubrey Yandow

Matt and I are very aware of how slippery a slope social media can be, so we have set up some ground rules to take a break from it.

Every night around 7 PM we go on a walk, with no phones. We usually walk for about an hour and just focus on us. Secondly every Saturday we have pancakes and watch TV (usually football), now I can 100% say this usually doesn’t occur in bed because I’m a known spiller, but pancakes are OUR THING.

Finally, we spend a lot of time traveling, shooting and working on the blog together. By having these three things that are unique to us, it’s helped us focus less on others, and what they are doing over on social media and more on us.

So to sum it up. A large part of not overthinking your relationship or date is by not comparing yourself to others. Whether it be a first date, or eight years into a relationship like Matt and I. Everyone has their uniqueness, so focus on the good and eat a pancake or two.

xx Aubrey

P.S; I’ve recently gotten a lot of questions about our new headboard! You can read about how we purchased the headboard for half the cost in this post, featuring my current favorite app…Raise

The Raise Team was kind enough to send over a coupon code for your use. Use CODE: COASTAL to get $5 off $50 for new Raise customers! FYI, this code expires in 2018, so use it while you can! 

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